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A lingering loss
story by Shweta Gulati
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Nestled in a quiet part of Frankfort lives a couple who experienced tragic loss, and struggles that have compiled and changed.
Their resiliency remains the only constant.
David and Margery Rigsby, both 65, first met at the University of New Mexico in Albuquerque at the freshman mixer. They earned degrees. They got married.
Then, in 1999, their world was upended when their 26-year-old daughter, Catherine Anne Rigsby, died.
The Rigsbys were suspicious about the cause of her death and spent years fighting for justice in Florida, where she lived.
Catherine's brother, Justin, was only 14 when his sister died, and he remembers his father's persistence.
"He was practically living in Florida during that time," Justin says.
David and Margery regret not being good parents to Justin after their daughter's death because their grief consumed them. Though time has passed, David says: "It's the new normalcy, not like the old normalcy."
But hardship continued.
In 2007, David was diagnosed with stage 4 squamous cell carcinoma of the head and neck. Most stage 4 cancer patients don't survive, but David harbored a strong will to live. Chemotherapy impacted his immune system and his short-term memory.
"He doesn't remember yesterday, but he remembers every detail of our daughter's case," Margery says.
The couple copes differently, but share determination to go on with their lives.
David and Margery created a memorial to their daughter in their front yard after her death. "You never get over it," David says of his daughter's death. "You get to terms with it."
David wears the custom mask moulded for his seven weeks of radiation that treated his stage 4 squamous cell carcinoma. The mask cost the family close to $8,000, and he used it 35 times.
Margery joins hands in prayer with members of Frankfort Unitarian Universalist Church, John Seybold (from left), Dan Billings, minister Brian Chenoweth and Rob Carter, at a potluck dinner held by the congregation every third Wednesday.
After lunch with his friends, David returns to the home he has shared with Margery for the past 28 years in Frankfort.
Margery laughs and falls onto the couch when she sees her son's dog in the costume she got him for Halloween. Their son Justin and daughter-in-law Marisa live close by and visit them often.
David gets ready to drive around town in his SL500 1998 Mercedes. He loves to drive his convertible with the top down.
Every Wednesday, David meets a group of friends who call themselves "The Romeo Club." David meets his friends, (from left) Rick Weber, Mike Claffy, Archie Twitchell and John Sibold, for lunch at Ginza, a Japanese restaurant. After his cancer treatment, David's taste buds were burned off from radiation. "I try to find the best food in town," he says.
Before she goes to the grocery store, Margery calls out for David to check on her carrot soup that she has been cooking for a friend's dinner.
Chemotherapy affected David's esophagus and immune system, and he continues to suffer from short-term memory loss. He had to use a feeding tube for 18 months because the treatment made it hard to swallow. He keeps a light-hearted attitude about it, though. Thanks to the feeding tube, "I have two belly buttons," he says.